Mark Brown
April 19, 2022
Discipline is one of the hardest things to actually achieve because the world around us designed to distract us from the very thing that we are after. When it comes to strength training, discipline has a few different ways of manifesting itself: Physically, emotionally and intellectually. All three of ways involves specific distractions and ways to help defeat them to keep a lifter on task. I will be addressing all 3 of them at some point in a series of essays about discipline. Discipline is something that every person who aspires to be great at something needs to have and I am just using strength training as the vessel for it since I am most familiar with it. Don’t let the topic get in the way of the message I am trying to communicate. Today’s essay will revolve around the emotional part of discipline and how being emotionally ruthless, especially with oneself, can help make someone a harder, better worker and create that mentality necessary for working hard everyday.
Having a positive mindset is required in strength training. It helps recognize progress which feeds belief in the overall plan. Confidence is everything because all kinds distractions come into play when that is lost. Sometimes changes to the plan are necessary to be made, but more often than not people don’t give it enough time to actually give any kind of useable feedback. A more short term example of a positive mindset is rep to rep, especially when lifting in the 85%-100% 1RM range or RPE 8-10 for my RPE people out there. Confidence in one’s ability to complete the rep shows every time and it can’t really be hidden. There is a certain tentativeness and energy that someone gives off when they aren’t sure of their ability to do it. Everybody’s individual tics will determine if it fidgety or more sullen. Once a lifter has lost the confidence to complete the rep, any success is mostly accidental and not repeatable. A good sports comparison here would be Nick Anderson. He is former NBA player for the Orlando Magic who famously missed 4 straight free throws at the end of game 1 of the NBA Finals in 1995. Any 1 of those free throws would have locked the game up for the Magic, who were heavy betting favorites. Instead, the Houston Rockets tied the game up and won the game in overtime, then the series 3 games later. His confidence as a player was destroyed and it showed in his play.
However, positivity has limits to how effective it can be. In a gym scenario, the power of positivity run amok is seen in what is known as “ego lifting.” This type of lifting is dangerous because it heightens risk for little to no actual reward. The cycle continues until a serious injury actually happens to the ego lifter. This is first example where what I’m calling “emotional ruthlessness” needs to come into play. Ego lifting is an easy trap to fall into for any lifter. For the vast majority of those who train that ego lift isn’t a 495 pound deadlift or a 365 pound overhead smith machine press, but someone trying to make a 25 pound pr on a 225 pound bench press. Being ruthless with oneself is made harder when the element of success has been added to the mix. The temptation to keep lifting after the intended sets have been completed because the reps feel great is high. That deviation from the plan will ultimately have negative results if temptation is given into. I gave into it in February of this year when I let myself keep doing set after set of squats because everything was feeling so, so good. After about 4 weeks of that, my back finally told me to chill for a week. While that doesn’t not particular devastating to average joe lifters, that kind of forced layoff is the sign of mismanagement that needs to be addressed immediately. One of the first things a serious lifter learns is that there is no honor in destroying oneself so hard they miss training sessions. I let the success of the moment get in the way of the bigger, overarching plan.
Where emotional ruthlessness shines the brightest is when it helps build work ethic. Mondays (or Tuesdays) is my first chest and shoulder lifting day of the week. All of my power sessions last about 2.5 hours or so because there are just so many sets to get through. I’ve noticed the last couple weeks that I’m mentally done after I finish log press, which is the 4th out of 6 lifts I do on Mondays. That’s usually around the 2-2:15 hour mark. However, the plan I made involves finishing with a flat dumbbell press and a seated overhead dumbbell press for more muscular development. I tell myself to stop being a pussy and get it done. Ultimately it’s only 50ish reps spread through 6 or 7 sets at well below maximum intensity so the danger level is relatively low. I’ve used that ruthlessness to find more ways to push myself and work harder than find ways out of it. I have found that same mentality follows me to work. There’s an energy I feel I get when stuff needs to get done and I’m just getting stuff done. There’s a joy in just kicking ass for no other reason than it needs to be kicked, especially when I know someone else isn’t kicking ass. Winning the room when others don’t even know it’s a competition is a great strategy for keeping eyes on the prize. The reality is that no one ever gets out what they put into anything they do seriously. Once someone makes that realization and accepts it, becoming more emotionally ruthless with oneself becomes best way to deal with what needs to be done. If that means I do more work than is perceived necessary or more than I’m getting paid to do, then so be it. I can hold my head high knowing I did the best I could. The more one tries to stop getting screwed over, the more they start screwing everyone else over. That, too, cannot be hidden.
Emotional ruthlessness has its share of dangers and drawbacks. It runs the show. It’s not particularly supportive in nature to others and the self. It expects others to hold themselves to the same ridiculously exacting standard. It expects the self to live right on the edge of success or failure, the place where progress resides. One who employs it too much or in wrong situation can seen as aloof and uncaring when perhaps it isn’t the case. It becomes the dominant emotional state. I like to think that I have a fair amount of empathy for others, especially in matters that I really care about, but I know that’s mostly bullshit because I know what it takes to make progress in strength training and what I do at work. A big part of that is that is because doing what it takes to get whatever it is done is just part of the whole “putting in” process and the I couldn’t give a damn about concepts of “fair” and “equal.” They just don’t matter.
Strength training has really brought out the more aggressive parts of my personality by showing me what’s possible if I just put everything aside that gets in the way of the goals I’ve set. Perhaps I’m too far down the rabbit hole in this, but I know progress and winning is located there. I enjoy kicking ass when people aren’t watching, when people are around for me to outwork, and to compete when no one else realizes there’s a competition. This is discipline! Employing emotional ruthlessness helps curb the high you get from success and helps build a powerful work ethic by pushing yourself to work harder, especially when others aren’t.
Life Through Lifting 